Version 1: The Inspirational Startup Origin Story

It all started in a garage. Or a group chat. Or maybe an emotional breakdown ---- the details are blurry.

We were just three highly caffeinated geniuses (our words) who looked at the internet and thought,

“This deserves to be wearable.”

So we built Shmuz It ----- (we use quadruple hyphens so you know it's not AI writing this b.s the world’s most unnecessary, entirely essential way to turn posts into products.

Now, your tweets can live rent-free not only in people’s heads but also on their chests.

Version 2: The Relatable Chaos Era

We didn’t mean to start a company.

We were just doomscrolling and thought, “hey, that tweet would look amazing on a tote.”

Next thing we knew, we had a Shopify store, three unpaid therapy bills, and a brand voice we can’t turn off.

At this point, Shmuz It is less of a business and more of a coping mechanism.

Version 3: The Corporate Buzzword Pitch

At Shmuz It™, we leverage synergistic innovation to disrupt the swag ecosystem by democratizing self-expression through scalable irony.

Our mission? To ideate and deploy cross-platform content monetization pipelines in real-world textiles.

Translation: we make shirts from tweets.

Version 4: The Netflix Documentary We're Gonna Make

Cue soft piano.

Against all odds --— and at least two API failures —-- we turned chaos into cotton.

We believed in a world where content could be more than likes and retweets…

It could be fashion.

Or at least something mildly wearable.

We cried. We coded. We hit “publish.”

Version 5: The Brutal Truth

About us?

We’re just a bunch of overthinking, underhydrated internet people monetizing our screen time.

We’re not curing diseases. We’re curing boring merch.

And if this page somehow made you emotional, that’s on you, not us.